We give our readers a lot of online dating tips. But one thing we’ve never talked about is what to do if someone ghosts you after you’ve made a connection.
Ghosting is the term for what happens when you think things are going well, but the other person just stops responding to your messages. This can happen after a couple of dates, or even when you’ve simply been chatting online. The main thing is that they just disappear with no explanation at all.
At first, you may think they are just busy. But over time you realize you’re never going to hear from them again. And you wonder why, but you can’t think of anything that you might have done wrong.
It can feel really personal. It can hurt. But eventually, someone will probably ghost you. And at some point, you may want to ghost someone yourself. It’s not pretty, but it’s just a fact in this era of online dating.
That said, these online dating tips explain how you can deal with being ghosted – and still feel good about continuing to date people until you’ve made a real match.
They May Have Been Talking To Several People At Once
The first thing to remember is that you have no idea what the other person does with their time. You could have been one of 10 people they were talking to in several online dating sites. They could have been searching for the perfect person to go out with and testing out a ton of people. And for some random reason, they may have just decided they liked someone else better.
If that’s so, you may have simply lost a numbers game.
Look at it this way – they saved you a lot of time and energy. Would you have wanted to get ready for a date, show up, and then find out it wasn’t going to work out? No, probably not, so feel good that you avoided that whole scenario.
The second thing to remember is that you don’t really want to end up dating someone who would ghost you. That shows a blatant disrespect for your feelings. Is that someone you really want to be with? Best to move on.
Some People Use Dating Sites to Get Attention
Most likely, there’s nothing wrong with you at all. It may have been that the person who ghosted you was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to – but wasn’t really interested in a date.
This happens more often than you would think. For whatever reason, it’s nice to find out that someone else finds you attractive. But that’s all they are looking for.
Maybe they are married and not getting enough attention from their spouse. Perhaps they just went through a bad breakup and weren’t ready for a real date. No matter what the reason, understand that it has nothing to do with you.
If you haven’t even met in person, remember that you know almost nothing about this person. There are sides of his or her life that are a mystery. Just be happy that you and they had an exchange that made you happy for a little while.
Examine What Happened Before You Got Ghosted
It’s important to note that you may have done something to get yourself ghosted. This is particularly true if you are new to online dating. Self-reflection is a good thing and may help you understand how you’re feeling and how you should deal with it.
When you use the best dating sites for singles you are going to be dealing with some people who are experts at it. They are going to be very picky, trying to look for red flags every time they get the chance to meet someone new. If they see one, they will run.
So, take a look at your conversations and see if there was anything there that could have scared them off.
Did you bring up sex or romance too soon? Maybe you sent a naughty picture before they were ready for it. Or did you hit them with a ton of questions that would have been more appropriate for a second or third date? Read through all your messages and try to put yourself in their shoes.
Remember – when it comes to communicating by text, there are so many ways to misunderstand what the other person is trying to say. You were making light conversation, while they thought you were too intense. Or maybe you seemed like you weren’t interested. Again, you never know. But it doesn’t hurt to take a look at what happened and see if you can avoid it in the future.
Learn From Being Ghosted – And Then Move On
Dating is a learning experience and being ghosted is part of that process. But you can live through it, and with it. The important thing is to pay attention.
First off, realize that the other person may have been chatting with a ton of people. You simply lost at the numbers game. If someone is having 20 different conversations, the odds of them choosing you are fairly low. And you don’t want that type of person in your life. Constantly being in competition with other people is no fun at all.
It’s also important to remember that the person may have never wanted to meet anyone in real life in the first place. There are people who simply use online dating to reassure themselves that they are attractive. A lot of these people are in relationships that are going nowhere and just want a sense of validation.
Finally, take a good hard look at what conversations led up to you being ghosted. Without realizing it, you may have been sending out a ton of red flags. You can teach yourself not to accidentally send out stuff that is going to turn people off.
The most important lesson is that everyone who ghosted you would not have been a good match, so they actually saved you some time and heartbreak.
Read More Online Dating Tips
Now that you understand how to react when you’ve been ghosted, it’s time to look at online dating sites for you. Once you’ve prepared a killer dating profile, you’ll easily find potential matches who are genuinely interested in you.